Yesterday I discovered Johnathan Wrathborn, AKA Outsideboxproduction, died of a hart attack in November 2023, he was one of the first animators I watched on YouTube, and I did not hate him. I absolutely adored much of his work, stands out for me where his L4D, Resident Evil parody's, the three Two minutes of Terror shorts and his web comic Joy to the World, he was a creator I followed on and off for over 10 years, after a period of not knowing where he was or his work and struggling to find him again due to his original account being deleted I was quite pleased to have found him again on NG and also on Patreon where up until yesterday I was pledging £5 to him a month.

Having first discovered him when I was maybe around 14-15 him passing has hit me somewhat hard as it dose feel part of my childhood has gone with him. Plus the tragedy of the situation itself, 43 is no age to die and I can only imagen how hard it must be for his family.

While somewhat old news it was still upsetting to me, and I do also feel pretty disappointed with myself, my own lack of attention to an artist I held in high regard, I have spent far too much time over the last couple years hate following other content creators. In particular a couple I used to be ex-fans off, since having found out things about them that angered, repulsed or frustrated me I became somewhat obsessed with following there actions, and the criticism around them. I have not been shy about my dislike to them elsewhere but for this entry I wanted to reframe from mentioning them directly.

I know I'm not the only one who hate follows, but John passing has really made me regret the time I have devoted to people I don't even like, hate consumption is still hate consumption, I don't think it's enterally meaningless, I think it might serve as a outlet for frustration or offer some catharsis. Those two have a lot of other haters so seeing other people calling them out did validate my negative feelings.

I bring this up as, I feel kind of ashamed that I spent so much time hate following that could have been better spent, I feel I should have noticed sooner John was not active and checked what was up sooner. That time I spent scrolling twitter, tumbler or watching as many react videos as I could find on them, could have been better spent on people I actually like, artists I want to encourage, support and see what they come up with next.

I might be overthinking this, there is no guarantee I would have been more up to-date on John if I'd not been hate following, there's a lot of people posting a lot of art, it is easy to loose track and there's only so much I can keep up with. It's possible I could have done 0 hate following and still only realized John had passed yesterday.

Still, I think now is the time for change, break the habit of obsessive hate following, and give that time to people I actually like and want to see succeeded and grow, our time with anyone is finite, be they family, friend or artist you only have a online relationship with.

Rest in Piece John, I'm glad I at least reached out to you when I had the chance to tell you I enjoyed your work, I wish you could have remained with us longer.

I know I've spoken a lot here about what John meant to me personality with his art but I've been reminded recently to consider the human behind the art, my hart goes out to his friends, family and anyone who knew him outside of his artwork. Whoever you are, wherever you are, I hope your are doing well, I am sorry for your loss.